So last time we spoke, I raved a bit about the glories—the ease!— of self-publishing via Smashwords. Perhaps I spoke a little prematurely. Sure, formatting the book was slightly tricky but hell, I did it, and I'm Queen Luddite. I got the cover designed, it looks hot, I have to say (thanks, Stu). And I uploaded the lot to Smashwords. They accepted it, yippee! Than they spat me back out. It seems I hadn't quite ticked all the boxes.
This process is a little trickier than I had anticipated. Doesn't mean it can't be done. Doesn't mean it won't be done. But there are a few hiccups I hadn't counted on. For instance, I didn't realise - duh! - that I'd need an ISBN number. A barcode as such. Why I didn't realise this is bizarre and a little embarrassing but there you go. How else can retailers know where to send my giant royalty cheques? Luckily for me, Smashwords recommended an Aussie ISBN website. I'm in the process of acquiring a book of 10 ISBN numbers (just $80 all up, people), then that's sorted for a few years/decades. (Really, with all this mucking about, you don't expect me to find any time to actually write anything else, do you?)
I also didn't realise I needed a US tax file number. The very thought sends shivers down our collective spines but, again, why I hadn't anticipated this, is beyond me. If you don't provide a tax number the US government withholds 30% of earnings. SO WHAT you might chorus? What's 30% of NOTHING? Then, you do the maths and realise that you're already giving your life's work away for a measly $2.99. Why let Uncle Sam take a whole dollar? What the hell did HE do? They don't even tax Bill Gates that much. (18% if you must know.)
Fortunately, I do have an old Social Security number from my three years working in the US, so I may use that. Or will that only open a can of worms? Will a helicopter suddenly descend upon the house, bright lights, a Swat team in place to demand where I've been for the past 12 years and why the hell haven't I been paying tax in God's Own Country?!
NOW we know what we needed publishers for.
I'm now in consultation with my Aussie tax bloke to find out the best course of action. Perhaps 30% ain't so bad...
But you know what? I still would rather go through all this crap then have to deal with a publisher, or not as the case currently is. Sure, a publisher would do all this for me, cross all these Ts, tick all the boxes. But I can still do it faster. They say it takes around a year for a publisher to turn a book around. So far, it's only been about six weeks for me. So we're doing okay.
Speak to me again in a month.
xo
