Plotting my way out of writer's block

I've never really experienced 'writer's block' but have to admit, while working on my fifth Ghostwriter mystery recently, I struggled to get the story out, labouring over every sentence, feeling bored, floundering, wondering why I bother and was there a less talented writer anywhere on this dark earth.

Then I picked up a book I bought at the last Byron Bay Writers Festival that I'd neglected to read. An anthology of Australia's leading crime writers with the disappointingly cliché title If I Tell You ... I'll Have to Kill You (edited by Michael Robotham) and relief flooded through me like a cold shower in the middle of a Melbourne heat wave.

Forget about just 'Australia' and 'crime', 20 of the world's top writers have revealed that they, too, stumble and fall, flounder and feel like frauds from time to time. Experts like Gabrielle Lord and Kerry Greenwood, Peter Corris and Shane Maloney. Gee I'm in good company!

These wonderful, candid writers offer excellent advice on getting started, on keeping going, on plotting or not plotting (to each their own), on flow, character development and how to handle the ugly ego that sits on each of our shoulders laughing regularly at our 'ineptitude'. Every writer struggles occasionally. No writer thinks it's a breeze. Not even the best of them.

Of course, deep down I know all this, I've heard it all before, but to see it at this time, as I struggle with a series that, just between you and me, has been a breeze, was a welcome buoy in what's been a turbulent and unproductive month. (Well, if you don't count the spotless kitchen and one very tidy desk.)

Just promise yourself you'll write 500 words a day, suggests Katherine Howell (writer of pacy ambo thrillers). If that doesn't work, make it 250. Before you know it, you'll be on a roll. Others advised I just put the pen down (keyboard, iPad...) and go for a stroll. Thinking, or not thinking, is just as pivotal to plotting as getting letters onto a page. (Sadly, most of us see this as a waste of time, but oh no it's not!) Almost everyone stressed the importance of character and I wondered whether I'd not developed mine enough. Was that my stumbling block?

Then I read that perhaps it's not me that's struggling. It's the plot. Yes, I thought, yes! Let's blame the blasted plot!

I put my keyboard aside and I sat out on my veranda, watching the wallabies mow the backyard as the catbirds screeched like manic babies in the poinciana above, and I looked again at my plot. Of course. That was it. My plot was all wrong. It just wasn't doing its job. There were not enough suspects. There were certainly not enough dead bodies. It was all a bit of a yawnfest. No wonder I was bored senseless, it was a senselessly boring plot. So I grabbed pen and paper and reworked the entire novel. Then I returned to my keyboard and the story began to flow.

I haven't stopped writing since.

Thanks, fellow writers, for your candour and your encouragment, but most of all, thank you for your failings, because without them, I'd still be scrubbing every square inch of my office.

Happy reading (and writing) everyone.
xo Christina

Man or monster?

Most of my books contain strong, capable women like Roxy Parker and the Finlay sisters, but a recent radio interview got me wondering: If they were marooned on a desert island with a bunch of strangers, how would they react? Not very well, according to the Aussie co-author of a new book called No Mercy: True Stories of Disaster, Survival and Brutality, Eleanor Learmonth (with Jenny Tabakoff; 2013).

After studying dozens of real-life Robinson Crusoe-style scenararios, they came to the horrific conculsion that most of us turn into immoral, vicious monsters when the chips are down a la Lord of the Flies. And that freaks me out.

I don't know about Roxy and Alicia, but I like to picture myself as the Goddess of Calm in a crisis. I was voted School Captain back when I actually thought that mattered. I have long stood up to bullies and am rarely afraid of authority or taking a risk (within reason). I am fairly pragmatic, an articulate negotiator and have more than a dose of common sense. With that in mind, I like to think I could help lead the troops through days and days of food rationing, stress and emotional despair to ensure we all get back home healthy, happy and alive, and preferably in one piece.

In your dreams, suggests Learmonth. In a recent ABC Radio National interview with the peerless Richard Fidler (do interviewers get any better?), Learmonth explained how research proves that humans are more likely than not to discard all of our humanity, destroying the weak (gobbling them up for good measure), battling for power and generally turning into beasts. Forget 'women and children first', it's 'every man for himself'. It's not a pretty picture but there is some hope.

Learmonth did cite one inspiring group who managed to survive a ship wreck with good, elected leadership and the power of purpose (keep everyone busy and there's less chance of misbehaviour, apparently). She goes on to suggest other survival tips if you do find yourself stuck with salivating strangers, and they make such good sense. I'm thinking I should print them out and keep them with my passport, just in case.

This sounds like a fascinating read, more chilling than your average thriller, and I'm adding it to my Christmas Book Gift List this year. You might want to check it out yourself. But in the meantime, just hope you never have to put your mettle to the test. You may well be disappointed.

Happy reading!
xo Christina

I swear to God

Every now and then I get an irate reader outraged by the profanity in my books, demanding to know why I need to swear so much and refusing to read anymore until I desist. And I don't blame them. There are a lot of swear words in my stories, I admit that. And while the vast majority of my book reviewers/fans seem to have no issue with it, I do feel compelled to explain myself to those of you who are upset, distressed or annoyed. I'm not trying to upset you, but, well, two things:

1) Murder is okay but swearing is not? Huh?
I find it rather bizarre that the same people who take umbrage at swear words seem to have no issue with people getting murdered in my books. Slicing someone's throat or leaving them in a dank basement to be devoured by rats is okay, but cussing is not? I'll never understand that one. Sorry, guys but these are murder mysteries, not fairytales or children's books. I think you have to expect a bit of grit when you pick one up.

2) Hate to burst your bubble but Aussies swear a (bloody) lot.
It's a truth universally acknowledged that your average Australian cusses like a trooper. It's just a fact. Listen in on any conversation on any Aussie street, in any Aussie pub or office block, and you'll hear a colourful variety of words. 'Bloody' is the common one, but they get a lot, lot worse than that. We recently had a court case here where a teenager got off for using the 'F-word' at a policeman. The judge was forced to concede that it's now so common, it can't be construed as offensive. It's everyday language whether we like it or not.

And my stories are everyday Australian stories (albeit with a little murder and mayhem in the mix—see C.A. Larmer on Amazon). I need my Aussie characters to not just be colourful, but to sound like, well, everyday Aussie characters. My editor Maria at Glossy magazine (Killer Twist, Last Writes, Dying Words) is the perfect example. She is modelled on two real-life editors I used to work with who swore a hell of a lot more than she does. A hell of a lot. I have, in fact, toned her down for the books.

Do you know, I didn't even realise there was any profanity in my stories until an Aussie expat now living in Canada got in touch to say she'd forgotten how much Aussies swear until she read my books, and it made her feel quite homesick!

Obviously it makes some of you just feel sick, and for that I apologise. But I won't take the profanity out. There really isn't that much, and to do so would be bordering on censorship. It feels contrived. It wouldn't be real. It wouldn't be honest. And it would be swapping credibility for sales. Once you start doing that, you might as well just give up and ask your readers to write it for you with all the reality taken out.

I have, however, considered publishing two versions of each book—one for the Americans who seem to be the main people who take offence, and one for everyone else. And I'm happy to do that if anyone feels strongly about it (please send me an email or leave a comment here). But I do think the real story needs to be available in one format with the real street language included for those who want, well, reality.

What do you think? Please let me know, I'd love to continue the conversation. In the meantime, happy (slightly wicked) reading everyone.

xo Christina

Ghostwriter Sale Coming Up!

Hi guys,
A quick heads up for those who loved Killer Twist and are considering buying more great Ghostwriter mysteries. I will be putting Roxy Parker's second exciting adventure—A Plot to Die For— on sale on Amazon for just 99c for one full week, starting this Saturday, July 20.

But that's not all, lovely people. If you go to Goodreads, you can clinch one of 3 free paperback copies I'm putting up for grabs. You've got a month to enter, so hop to it: book giveaway.

If you're after the 4th Ghostwriter Mystery, Dying Words, that's hot off the press and now available as an ebook at:
Amazon and Smashwords.

I'd LOVE to hear your feedback so please don't hesitate to write a quick review and/or leave me a comment. And look out for other giveaways coming up.

Happy reading,
xo Christina
PS: Those who know me will also know that July 20 is my birthday, so this year, the treats are clearly on me!

Too many books, not enough time to write them

Are you a writer? Do you have endless books in your head, as I do? Or do you prefer to read the writings of others, something I also enjoy but which often leads me to the former. Being a writer can be irritating sometimes, especially when you have so many ideas and so little time. I want to take another three months out of my freelance soon and write my next book, or at least get it started.

But what book?

I have just posted my two completed Ghostwriter mystery books, Killer Twist and A Plot To Die For on Smashwords, but I have a third one already in the pipeline. It was originally intended as book number two, before A Plot To Die For swept into my imagination and took over. Loosely dubbed Last Writes, it's a cracking tale, one I desperately want to complete. I'm about 10,000 wds in. I know exactly how it will go. I might as well finish it.

But I have this other idea, see, that's just as intoxicating to me as a writer. It's a whole new crime mystery series called The Agatha Christie Book Club (see earlier posts). I am also 10,000 words into that, and it excites me even more than the ghostwriter books. It's just fresher, I guess, and has more marketing potential. So I would like to re-focus on that, if only to clinch the idea which I think is a corker. (Why hasn't anyone ever thought of it before?)

What do you think? Stick with the first series, extend that portfolio of titles? Or launch into something new?

All comments/critiques/advice most welcome. Anyone?

xo C.

Smashed at last

Almost exactly a month after my first attempt to upload my first ebook, Killer Twist (A Ghostwriter Mystery), to Smashwords (SW), I have finally succeeded, and not because I'm technologically savvy, I hasten to add. After formatting it in accordance with SW's Style Guide (three hours and a lot of sweat later), and adding a slick cover courtesy of designer Stuart Eadie, I pressed the publish button and expected instant success. My how delusional I was!

It didn't convert. Hmmm.

I tried a million different methods, I took out bolds and italics, I reformatted — no mean feat I can tell you— and tried again. Still no luck. And the stream of cries for help that I sent SW largely went unanswered (when they did bother to get back to me, they contained no useful tips at all. Just told me to try again. Duh!).

The problem with SW, as far as I can tell, is that if you have so much as a tab out of place the whole file does not convert. You have to get the formatting exact. Whatever I had done, it was clearly NOT exact. (Another problem with SW is the fact that it's free. I don't want to pay for it, don't get me wrong, but perhaps if I had, they may have responded to me faster and more effectively?)

I was left feeling frustrated, demoralised and pitifully low—it takes so long to write a book, edit it, get a cover designed, and let go of the whole, dreamy idea of ever finding a 'real' publisher, that when you finally decide to self-publish an ebook you just want the friggin thing to work! For a whole month it just wouldn't. My cover uploaded, it looked fabulous. But they kept rejecting my book.

Was this an omen?

Eventually I realised that I needed to bring in the Big Guns, or at least accept that I'm a Luddite and hire someone who isn't. Enter Amy Siders from US-based formatting business 52 Novels. We love her now! For a mere $45 (AUS$43), she formatted it in less than 10 days and got it back to me. At first, it still didn't work and I was beyond tearful. DAMN IT! Then I realised it had page breaks—a SW no-no—so she redid it immediately and PRESTO!

It's up. It's on the SW website.

Or, at least, it will be when they read through and approve. Right now you can search for it and find it, download it and buy it. But I guess it won't come up on the main menu for a few days. Fair enough. Someone has to manually check for errors, inappropriate language etc etc.

But the process has finally begun. Oh hail the ebook, and may I sell at least one!

xo Christina