I swear to God

Every now and then I get an irate reader outraged by the profanity in my books, demanding to know why I need to swear so much and refusing to read anymore until I desist. And I don't blame them. There are a lot of swear words in my stories, I admit that. And while the vast majority of my book reviewers/fans seem to have no issue with it, I do feel compelled to explain myself to those of you who are upset, distressed or annoyed. I'm not trying to upset you, but, well, two things:

1) Murder is okay but swearing is not? Huh?
I find it rather bizarre that the same people who take umbrage at swear words seem to have no issue with people getting murdered in my books. Slicing someone's throat or leaving them in a dank basement to be devoured by rats is okay, but cussing is not? I'll never understand that one. Sorry, guys but these are murder mysteries, not fairytales or children's books. I think you have to expect a bit of grit when you pick one up.

2) Hate to burst your bubble but Aussies swear a (bloody) lot.
It's a truth universally acknowledged that your average Australian cusses like a trooper. It's just a fact. Listen in on any conversation on any Aussie street, in any Aussie pub or office block, and you'll hear a colourful variety of words. 'Bloody' is the common one, but they get a lot, lot worse than that. We recently had a court case here where a teenager got off for using the 'F-word' at a policeman. The judge was forced to concede that it's now so common, it can't be construed as offensive. It's everyday language whether we like it or not.

And my stories are everyday Australian stories (albeit with a little murder and mayhem in the mix—see C.A. Larmer on Amazon). I need my Aussie characters to not just be colourful, but to sound like, well, everyday Aussie characters. My editor Maria at Glossy magazine (Killer Twist, Last Writes, Dying Words) is the perfect example. She is modelled on two real-life editors I used to work with who swore a hell of a lot more than she does. A hell of a lot. I have, in fact, toned her down for the books.

Do you know, I didn't even realise there was any profanity in my stories until an Aussie expat now living in Canada got in touch to say she'd forgotten how much Aussies swear until she read my books, and it made her feel quite homesick!

Obviously it makes some of you just feel sick, and for that I apologise. But I won't take the profanity out. There really isn't that much, and to do so would be bordering on censorship. It feels contrived. It wouldn't be real. It wouldn't be honest. And it would be swapping credibility for sales. Once you start doing that, you might as well just give up and ask your readers to write it for you with all the reality taken out.

I have, however, considered publishing two versions of each book—one for the Americans who seem to be the main people who take offence, and one for everyone else. And I'm happy to do that if anyone feels strongly about it (please send me an email or leave a comment here). But I do think the real story needs to be available in one format with the real street language included for those who want, well, reality.

What do you think? Please let me know, I'd love to continue the conversation. In the meantime, happy (slightly wicked) reading everyone.

xo Christina

Oh aren't I clever! (Or maybe I've just got good eMates)

This will come as a shock to most of you (not) that I am a bit of a new age Luddite. I may have six ebooks out on Amazon and Smashwords, but I'm not an early adopter when it comes to modern technology (computers, gadgets, you get the gist).

Since my heyday on the manual typewriters at Cleo magazine circa 1988 (it was Packer's last publication to get computer-savvy as far as I remember), technology and I have not been the best of mates. Actually, let me rephrase that. We are mates, we're just what you'd call 'fair weather friends'. When they're working well, I'm in love with my gadgets. When they start to get tricky or play up (or some bozo goes and changes the software which happens, like, monthly) I start to get cranky and want to dump them like a Year 10 boyfriend.

But as an avid writer I am too smart and way too greedy not to know the true value in utilising this technology to my advantage (cue: sinister laugh). And so, this week, I have thrust myself into the world of social media (surely that's an oxymoron, at least where the internet is concerned?) with a kind of gusto that would knock the high-tops off a Gen Z.

I've joined Twitter. I've been writing my blog like clockwork. I've subscribed to all manner of ezines and websites. I even got an iPad (although we can thank the hubby for that one). For the rest, I can thank a bunch of people whom I've never met and who have no reason whatsoever to help me. But they have and I am eternally grateful.

First I must thank Kira Diaz via Goodreads. She suggested I send my books to Book Club Reading List and then gave me a great link about scatterblogging (yes, that would be something I'm guilty of). Very helpful and it's really reshaped the way I write these blogs. So thanks, Kira, you're a champ.

Next I have to say an enormous THANK YOU to Alice Bello. What an amazing human being. She downloaded my first ebook Killer Twist a million years ago and, with my five other ebooks now on sale, can't believe I'm not faring better on the Amazon charts a la J.A. Konrath (oh, if only!) So, she has been jotting me pages of friendly advice—completely unsolicited and no strings attached. She's the one who urged me to start tweeting and who's pointed me in all sorts of amazing marketing and PR directions. Alice is a writer, too, you may even know her work. I've just downloaded her adult romance, Hope Breaks, and it's witty and steamy and, if she follows her own advice, will be top of the Amazon betseller lists before the month is out.

Thanks, Alice, you've been an amazing efriend, and I don't care what the weather's like.

While I'm thanking people, I have to add a very special mention to Elaine Rivers—a total stranger who began reading my books and letting me know when she found punctuation and spelling errors (and she did it so gently it felt like a compliment). She gladly edited my last book, Dying Words (on sale now) and did so without any expectation of payment or praise.

With eFriends like these, who needs to be tech savvy?

Happy reading everyone.

xo Christina

High Tea with Mum, anyone?

So it was my birthday. The boys were all heading off, beanies in hand, for the Collingwood versus Gold Coast Suns footy game (yawn) and my mother determined that WE were not to be outdone. So she invited one of my besties and we lippyed up and headed to the so-kitsch-it's-cool Verscace Hotel in Surfer's Paradise (think Miami on steroids, my American friends).

As I sat there supping darjeeling, quaffing champers and scoffing myself with lashings and lashings of teeny cakes, oversized scones and mushy cucumber sandwiches, I couldn't help wondering what my protagonist Roxy Parker (of the Ghostwriter Mystery series) would make of all this.
[AD BREAK: You can grab your copies at Amazon and Smashwords, now.]

Not Roxy's cup of tea at all, I'd've thought (the bubbly and best friend would have been welcome, the mother not so much). We had a lot of fun, and there wasn't a single patronising word or eyeroll from anyone. I didn't even get a raised eyebrow over my black skinny jeans and mulberry suede ankle boots.

I guess that answers the question I often get from readers about whether Roxy's mum Lorraine Jones is modelled on my own mother.

God no. Thank God, no! But gee she's a fun character to write. I'd love to hear about YOUR mums/moms, too, people. Are they meddling like Lorraine? Away with the fairies like Max's mum (we'll meet her in the next book), or generous and full of good ideas like mine?

Do tell, darlinks! (That's High Tea-speak for 'oi, let us know')

Oh and happy reading, everyone.

xo Christina

Ghostwriter Sale Coming Up!

Hi guys,
A quick heads up for those who loved Killer Twist and are considering buying more great Ghostwriter mysteries. I will be putting Roxy Parker's second exciting adventure—A Plot to Die For— on sale on Amazon for just 99c for one full week, starting this Saturday, July 20.

But that's not all, lovely people. If you go to Goodreads, you can clinch one of 3 free paperback copies I'm putting up for grabs. You've got a month to enter, so hop to it: book giveaway.

If you're after the 4th Ghostwriter Mystery, Dying Words, that's hot off the press and now available as an ebook at:
Amazon and Smashwords.

I'd LOVE to hear your feedback so please don't hesitate to write a quick review and/or leave me a comment. And look out for other giveaways coming up.

Happy reading,
xo Christina
PS: Those who know me will also know that July 20 is my birthday, so this year, the treats are clearly on me!

My favourite 'Book of Death'

Anyone who has ever read my books—check them out on Amazon and Smashwords—knows that, like my protagonist Roxy Parker (who keeps a Book of Death or Crime Catalogue), I, too, have a fascination for crime. But not just any crime.

I was reading an article today about a particularly nasty Mexican Drug Lord (is there any other kind?) who got off on torturing his victims before killing them, things like burning them alive in drums full of oil. A lovely chap. I started reading the article—sadly, today's most popular read on that particular website—and got as far as paragraph two before I had to stop and see if my stomach was still in the right spot. Gross.

Now, even I have to admit, there's a certain voyeuristic curiosity to stories like that. I read them all the time. I have long been fascinated by true crime and what makes one soul capable of doing such horrendous things to another—but that's as far as it goes for me. It's not what I revel in, and it's not what I like to write. It's also why I'm a bigger fan of say, Agatha Christie (the queen of delicate stab wounds) than Patricia Cornwall (who likes to crack open a body and get on down).

I don't want the grit and grime. I don't want the bloody and bloated corpse. For me, the best deaths are not really the point. It's about the puzzle behind the death.

Why were they murdered? How did it happen? Who is to blame? And how could they possibly have pulled it off without anyone knowing? (How clever was that?!)

I don't want to be distracted by dripping limbs and serial killers and creepy goings on in the night. I find many modern writers rely on those things too much, often when they haven't got much of a storyline. Sure, those things might be there, but they're not the best part. They're not the reason to read, borrow or buy.

I want the riddle. I want the red herrings and sideways glances, the 'where was she at such-and-such a time?' I like to line up all my clues and suspects and work it out for myself. And as far as I'm concered, the blood and the guts can be present as long as they don't get in the way. Or, worse still, mask a total lack of plot.

In an ideal world, I want one murder, 10 people in a room, and a baffling whodunnit. Oh, and there has to be a bloody good twist at the end, or you're wasting my time. It's the reason I wrote my second Ghostwriter Mystery book, A Plot To Die For. I loosely modelled that on Agatha Christie's Evil Under the Sun (one can only aspire). In my case, there were a bunch of people stuck on a Pacific Island and a corpse they had to answer for. One of them had to have done it. But who? How? Why? (Sure, there was a little gore in that one, but not enough to lose your Gin & Tonic over, and it all worked to serve the plot.)

Plot! How many times can I say it? There has to be a decent plot. That's why I read what I read, and why I write what I write. I may not win any awards for my prose, but I like to think I'm providing a kick-ass plot and a twist that most of you won't see coming (I've learned that some of you smart chookies may never be surprised!).

If you like that kind of writing, too, please pick up one of my books, write a review and let me know how I'm faring—am I getting it just right? My latest venture is Dying Words, and I think even the smarties will be left baffled by this one.

And if you don't like that writing style, I'd love to know what kind of "Book of Death" you like. Drop me an email or post a comment any time.

I'd love to hear from you.

   

Happy reading,
xo Christina

Roxy back on murder track

At last, life was looking pretty good for ghostwriter Roxy Parker. She had the man of her dreams, a new book in the wings, and was so content, she'd barely found time for a speedwalk, let alone her good friend Gilda Maltin. Everything was rosey until ...

... In the dead of night, an elderly man has been bulldozed over in a brutal hit and run. Clutching to life, he summons his sobbing family to his bedside and utters one simple sentence—"Roxy Parker ... she has it!" —before taking his final, gasping breath.

So begins the next exciting adventure for my crime loving amateur sleuth.

Keen to know more? Want to clinch your own ecopy?
Dying Words is the fourth book in the Ghostwriter Mystery series and is now available at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Dying-Words-Ghostwriter-Mystery-ebook/dp/B00DPUYG5M/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373078356&sr=1-4&keywords=Dying+Words

It was a fun story to write because, as I said in an earlier blog, it was based on a real life incident that happened to me. An elderly man I had met and interviewed just once also called out my name on his deathbed and, while I'm pretty sure his passing was innocent enough, it set my imagination into overload.

Why did he call out my name of all names? What had he given me that was so precious to him? And what if there was a riveting mystery behind it all and he was sending me a message from the grave?

Dying Words is the result of my imagination gone wild. I loved writing it and I'm sure you're going to love reading it, too. And if you did, please don't hesitate to jot down a quick review and/or get in touch.

I love hearing from my readers, it's part of the reason I do what I do. (The other part is simply because it's such good fun.)

Happy reading!

xo Christina